Brussels.

As I write this, my eyes are welled over with tears of both anguish and anger. I am deeply sympathetic towards all those affected by the tragic events in Brussels, and that includes all of you.

I've been wondering if my feelings of hate and my pain are selfish. I don't know anyone in Belgium. I don't know those involved, so why should I be feeling this way? I told myself I shouldn't be allowed to be hurt, because the hurt belongs to those affected by the bombings; but fuck it. I am hurting, I am angry, and I am ready to accept that people aren't always good.

The world lives in a state of perpetual terror; these events magnify that. The problem is the world is scared of the wrong thing. The world should not be afraid of any race or religion; the world should be afraid of murderers.

Why haven't the past 15 years been recognised as war?

People are dying every single day at the hands of others. People are attempting to flee to safety, and are being turned down by the world's most powerful countries because of where they came from. When Russia and Ukraine fought over who wanted to own the Crimean Peninsula, the world considered that a war. Two countries fighting over a Peninsula is a war, but bombing the absolute shit out of countries like Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan (and the list goes on) to get back at those few people who terrorised the cities of Paris, Brussels, and New York City, is just another day on Earth.

I think the thing that upsets me the most is the lack of exposure when it comes to events like those in Brussels, and the war. I was sitting in a hotel lobby in Melbourne last weekend, and I was watching the news on a small television. While the news anchor was rattling on about Kim K's naked selfie, with her body and pictures strewn across the entire screen, the bottom bar reeled off a few headlines - among which read: VLADIMIR PUTIN PULLS RUSSIAN MILITARY OUT OF SYRIA.

HOW IS THAT SMALLER NEWS THAN FUCKING KIM KARDASHIAN?

Russia removing themselves from Syria (which I'm not even sure the extent of as it only got a 75 word clipping in my local newspaper) could be world changing. Even as I sit here, I think about all the allied nations to Russia, which I am hoping will make the same decision - but I doubt it.

What sparked me to write this blog post was a video of the Brussels attack. I was watching the video on a website that runs 'news' stories, and they had a sort of 'important headlines' related video section on the side of my video. One headline mentioned Brussels, the following five were about Apple's new amazing iPhone that is RUMOURED to be happening. GO. FUCK. YOURSELVES.

We are so plugged into to this technological dystopia that nobody sees what's really going on. I feel like I'm in 1984!

People are dying. People are terrified. People are fleeing for their safety and are being turned away, and even killed. People are being beaten for believing different things. People are being assaulted for having an opinion and it has GOT TO STOP.

I shouldn't be afraid to speak my mind. I shouldn't be afraid to take a train, or a bus, or a taxi, or a plane. I shouldn't be afraid to be human. If this is what humanity is, then I don't want to be.

I know this was probably one giant ramble, and won't make sense in the scheme of things, but I had to get it off my chest.

In order to achieve peace, we as people need to shut the fuck up and accept that people are different.

We shouldn't be afraid of someone who's beliefs differ to our own.
We should be afraid of murderers.

Help the refugees.
Let the LGBT+ community love who they want to love.
Free the nipple.

House the homeless.

Stop police brutality.
Stand up for women's rights and support gender equality.
Don't be scared to be a feminist.
TIGHTEN GUN LAWS.

and most of all

STOP KILLING EACH OTHER.

Rosie x

Fear of Flying!

Hey Guys!

I just got back from a few days in Melbourne, and I wanted to do a quick little post talking about my fear of flying.

Since I was little, I've had a fear of flying; I think it comes from my Dad. As long as I can remember he has been terrified of going on planes, whether it be a 20 hour flight or a 2 hour flight. I remember once when I was about six years old, he was due to catch a flight to London for work. My Mum dropped him off at the airport, and shortly after getting back home, she received a phone call. My Dad was crying, and he hadn't boarded the flight. She drove down to pick him up and when he made it back home, he was a mess. Shaking, pale, in tears; it was really strange to see my Dad like that, and when I found out it was because of a plane, I guess that's how it started.

I'm not the kind of person that has a crazy wanderlust, or needs to travel often, so when I was younger and I had to catch planes, I didn't quite understand how it all worked. There was something about being locked inside a giant metal tube in the sky for hours that wasn't very appealing.

I think the worst part about flying is waiting to get on the plane. That for me is the real 'fight-or-flight' moment. When you are through security, and you can see your plane from your gate, and you still have a chance to turn around. That is the absolute worst feeling in the world. I can't eat when I'm going to catch a flight, and I'm surrounded by restaurants and people chowing down. All that goes through my head is 'why am I the only one panicking when fear of flying is a really common fear?'; it doesn't make sense. Once I've chosen to fight the fear, and I'm on the plane and in my seat, it is time for take-off.

I've always hated take-off. Back when I was a kid, I thought the plane took off at 90 degrees and it was going to flip over and fall upside-down onto the tarmac. I don't think that anymore, but I still hate take-off. I can hardly sit on hills in my car if they're steep enough - the angle freaks me out. I hate the sudden thrust of speed, and the G-force holding me back in my seat. As the plane takes off, all I'm hoping for is to look out the window, and see the wide open blue sky above the clouds. That's when I can relax.

Usually, when my plane has taken off and we are cruising, I calm down a little. I still feel pretty uncomfortable, and sometimes I forget to breathe properly, but most of the time I'm just listening to music, and waiting to land. 

Then there's turbulence. Now, I tell myself before I fly to expect bumps. It's inevitable, and it's just air pockets and very rarely anything serious. However, even with those thoughts in mind, the first small series of bumps make me very anxious. The little side to side shifts I can handle with very little effort, but when the plane shakes a lot, drops at the rear, hits an air pocket and suddenly drops a few feet, that scares the shit out of me. Whenever there is turbulence, I immediately look to the windows to see the density of the clouds. On the flight home this afternoon, it was like someone had painted the windows grey. Needless to say, it was a very bumpy ride.

Coming in to land is much better than taking off, but I'm not overly fond of the flippy feeling my stomach gets when we make the big turns or start to descend quickly. I hate it when my ears pop, so having them do so 5 times in the space of a few seconds is absolutely awful. When flying into the Gold Coast from the south, the plane makes a huge turn around over the ocean. Combining the feeling of sudden descent with the feeling of being completely sideways is not a feeling I would want to experience every day. But despite all that, the sound of the landing gear clunking into place is one of the most comforting sounds of the entire flight. Then when you take that first step onto the tarmac; there's nothing sweeter than being on the ground.

I don't know what it is about flying that I am scared of - It's not claustrophobia, and it's not a fear of having no control. I know they wouldn't let us fly if there was any reason we couldn't make it down. I know the pilots and cabin crew are highly trained to assist in any emergency - big or small. I just hate flying, and it's so frustrating there's nothing I can pinpoint. I just hate flying, and there's no other way I can put it. 

That's it for now guys!
Let me know what you are scared of by leaving me a comment on this post.
Hopefully, I'm not the only one dealing with this fear.

Love Rosie x